Dear readers,
In two days I have had two interesting encounters that I thought I would mention to you to illustrate a couple of points in seduction.
Scenario #1:
I was at work and a fairly handsome man comes in with his brother (the brother was actually my customer). I joked back and forth with my customer as I usually do--it puts them at ease in a stressful environment. After a couple moments of this, the brother spoke up and said that he "liked my style." I replied that generally I liked my style too. A few more witty exchanges and a couple of Looks later, I found that my coworker actually knows the family.
key thought: It really doesn't matter if the flirtatious gentleman and I never see each other again because, I kept my cool in the situation. I was able to flirt in a relaxed manner that kept both of us at ease. Do I want to see him again? Sure. But if I don't, it was good practice.
Scenario #2:
Just this morning, I was driving my car and stopped to make a right turn. There was a cyclist in the bicycle lane and I stopped because he had the right of way. (Where I live, not many people actually pay attention to who has the right of way--though they should--and much less to bicyclists.) The man on the bicycle was shocked enough by this that he looked over at me in vague appreciation for obeying the laws before looking away again.
Then he looked back, smiling. I smiled back at him companionably. He looked away to check his bearings and looked back again. This time we held gazes for as long as we could. Then we both had to pay attention to what we were doing.
key note: Similar to the scenario above, this is a very useful situation. You can flirt with no words at all. No matter your gender, practice your own version of the "Come Hither" Look. Give it to people as you pass them. You'll be surprised how much both of you will enjoy it.
Entire conversations are possible without speaking a word...and not just for women.
Practice. Practice. Practice.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
The Charismatic
Charismatics are people that we want to be around, a "presence that excites us" (Robert Greene). They have some inner quality that radiates out and others lack. Some qualities include confidence, sexual energy, sensuality, purpose, commitment, contentment, vitality, vision, eloquence. It can be any of these or something else entirely.
"'Charisma' shall be understood to refer to an extraordinary quality of a person, regardless of whether this quality is actual, alleged or presumed." -Max Weber
Charisma is inherently mysterious. You may be attracted to this person without ever knowig why. When the Charismatic walks into the room, you turn and look because you feel their presence. They have confidence, they stand out.
Tricks to increase Charisma:
1. purpose: people will follow if you have a plan. Pick a goal and don't sway from it.
2. mystery: have contradictory qualities (emotionally intimate& distant, cruelty& kindness, etc.)
3. Saintliness: be uncompromising in your ideals
4. Eloquence: "Words are the quickest way to create emotional disturbance." (Robert Greene)
5. Theatricality: Be larger than life, attract attention without seeming to do anything, be self-aware, stay composed even in the worst situations
6. Uninhibitedness: be spontaneous, have no fear, radiate sensuality--most people repress themselves and their instincts, YOU can act on them.
7. Fervency: believe in something--make it light you up like a torch so everyone can see.
8. Vulnerability: you need to be loved by your audience, show them your love as well. The extreme confidence can frighten; show some needs, vulnerabilities to balance it.
9. Adventurousness: Be unconventional, courageous, brazen. Take risks with others there to see. You will attract the bored and be seen as fearless.
10. Magnetism: The eyes reveal emotion without speech. Develop a piercing gaze, never show fear, and practice with the look in your eyes. Know what you say to people when you are not speaking.
"Genuine charisma thus means the ability to internally generate and externally express extreme excitement, an ability which makes one the object of intense attention and unreflective imitation by others." -Liah Greenfield
These qualities can be combined in any number of ways to achieve your desired results. Practice them to see how they affect others. You want to know this. Then you know how to act to achieve certain reactions in others. They will follow you.
"'Charisma' shall be understood to refer to an extraordinary quality of a person, regardless of whether this quality is actual, alleged or presumed." -Max Weber
Charisma is inherently mysterious. You may be attracted to this person without ever knowig why. When the Charismatic walks into the room, you turn and look because you feel their presence. They have confidence, they stand out.
Tricks to increase Charisma:
1. purpose: people will follow if you have a plan. Pick a goal and don't sway from it.
2. mystery: have contradictory qualities (emotionally intimate& distant, cruelty& kindness, etc.)
3. Saintliness: be uncompromising in your ideals
4. Eloquence: "Words are the quickest way to create emotional disturbance." (Robert Greene)
5. Theatricality: Be larger than life, attract attention without seeming to do anything, be self-aware, stay composed even in the worst situations
6. Uninhibitedness: be spontaneous, have no fear, radiate sensuality--most people repress themselves and their instincts, YOU can act on them.
7. Fervency: believe in something--make it light you up like a torch so everyone can see.
8. Vulnerability: you need to be loved by your audience, show them your love as well. The extreme confidence can frighten; show some needs, vulnerabilities to balance it.
9. Adventurousness: Be unconventional, courageous, brazen. Take risks with others there to see. You will attract the bored and be seen as fearless.
10. Magnetism: The eyes reveal emotion without speech. Develop a piercing gaze, never show fear, and practice with the look in your eyes. Know what you say to people when you are not speaking.
"Genuine charisma thus means the ability to internally generate and externally express extreme excitement, an ability which makes one the object of intense attention and unreflective imitation by others." -Liah Greenfield
These qualities can be combined in any number of ways to achieve your desired results. Practice them to see how they affect others. You want to know this. Then you know how to act to achieve certain reactions in others. They will follow you.
Falling in and out of Want:
To my dear Artemis:
Fallig in and out of want can be a problem--but it is also Normal. We can't be on the top of our games all of the time.
Just this past week, I saw one of the objections of my affection and wanted nothing to do with him. This lack of want had nothing to do with anything he did or with any real lack of affection on my part. I was ill. All I wanted to do was hurry home to get back into bed.
But when you have such trouble focusing on your targets, it is likely a lack of patience. Immediate gratification is not the name of the game in Seduction. Seduction takes time and effort to produce the desired results.
When you feel that you are losing your focus, take a day and pull back. Many times the withdrawal can produce a need or uncertainty in our target (why aren't you there today? why didn't you speak with them? did they say something?). You will not likely see this unless the other person seeks you out in some way.
If you cannot choose which target to seduce, seduce them all! Remember, you can conduct many seductions at the same time. We naturally do this with social seductions. Don't believe me? When was the last time that you had ONLY one friend, one acquaintance, one person that you joked with? We do this naturally--in school, at work, at church, in our neighborhoods--so why not in love?
This doesn't mean that you play these people off of one another, flaunt them at one another, or hide them from one another. You are a desireable person to be around, so why not have more than one person around you? Do not make excuses, but do not be too overt either. People enjoy your company. Let them. But making people feel as if they are compared to one another turns them off and makes them feel inadequate.
There is delicate balance between security, need, and insecurity.
Remember, this is a game. So enjoy it.
Fallig in and out of want can be a problem--but it is also Normal. We can't be on the top of our games all of the time.
Just this past week, I saw one of the objections of my affection and wanted nothing to do with him. This lack of want had nothing to do with anything he did or with any real lack of affection on my part. I was ill. All I wanted to do was hurry home to get back into bed.
But when you have such trouble focusing on your targets, it is likely a lack of patience. Immediate gratification is not the name of the game in Seduction. Seduction takes time and effort to produce the desired results.
When you feel that you are losing your focus, take a day and pull back. Many times the withdrawal can produce a need or uncertainty in our target (why aren't you there today? why didn't you speak with them? did they say something?). You will not likely see this unless the other person seeks you out in some way.
If you cannot choose which target to seduce, seduce them all! Remember, you can conduct many seductions at the same time. We naturally do this with social seductions. Don't believe me? When was the last time that you had ONLY one friend, one acquaintance, one person that you joked with? We do this naturally--in school, at work, at church, in our neighborhoods--so why not in love?
This doesn't mean that you play these people off of one another, flaunt them at one another, or hide them from one another. You are a desireable person to be around, so why not have more than one person around you? Do not make excuses, but do not be too overt either. People enjoy your company. Let them. But making people feel as if they are compared to one another turns them off and makes them feel inadequate.
There is delicate balance between security, need, and insecurity.
Remember, this is a game. So enjoy it.
Apology for not blogging...
To my avid readers:
So sorry that it has been so long since my last post. I've been rather ill. That's life.
Now, onto more interesting matters....
So sorry that it has been so long since my last post. I've been rather ill. That's life.
Now, onto more interesting matters....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)