Stars...bright, admired, and people always wonder about them

"The savage worships idols of wood and stone; the civilized man, idols of flesh and blood." -George Bernard Shaw

Stars glitter and scintillate, dazzling in the night sky. the same is with human Stars. We want to watch them because of their glittering presence, but they are vague enough that we never really know them...even if we think we do. They're elusive. They make us grasp at them to see if we can catch just a bit more. They fascintate us.

Stars can captivate doing nothing. No matter what they're doing, they're magnificent. Your eyes are attracted to them. Take Marlene Dietrich (a film star from the Golden Age of Hollywood). There was a line of beautiful women all trying out for parts. Many acted out in different ways to get attention, but the casting director couldn't take his eyes from Dietrich. She was simply dressed, didn't act out, but every movement engrossed him. She was fascinating. By the time it was her turn to read, he'd already cast her. During this, Dietrich kept her face blank, allowing the director to see what he wanted. And he did.

The point is that no matter who a Star really is, they allow you to see what you want to see in them. Like when JFK ran for the U.S. presidency. It was right after movies like Shane and Rebel without a Cause and the like. Then JFK come on proclaiming the greatness of this young country, with the heart of a young man, with young ideals, and so on. He alluded to what was going on in society and the lack of excitement some felt after World War II. And the people loved him for it. He was more of Hollywood than Washington--they loved him for that too.

Keys:

1. Mix the Real and Unreal:
You are the Star, the character from a person's dream in human form. You have Real qualities (playfulness, humor, even a hint of cruelty, idealism) and Unreal qualities (ethereal grace, blankness, presence)--the mix of them creates fascination and enticement to those around you. Most people's lives are boring, so they look to you and yours for excitement of any kind.
Just think of how many magazines in the checkout aisles in the local grocery store are covered with Hollywood stars, scandals, etc. People get involved because their lives are boring.

2. PRESENCE:
This has to be the most important for a Star. Without this, you aren't one. You have to stand out from the crowd to fill your target's mind with you. You need a style or presence to make you stand out from everyone else. Be dreamlike, but the target must focus on you. Your job is to make it impossible for them not to focus on you. They have to see you even when you aren't there.

3. Blank face:
Like Dietrich, you need to develop a face that radiates and still allows others to read whatever they want into you. They will do that on their own, you just need to provide the canvas. They will believe that they can see your soul, whether this is true or not doesn't matter. Instead of having great emotion, Stars have great interpretation. With a slight change in expression, people will see what they want.

4. Mix in a hint of something...
When cultivating yourself, make impact, then mix in a contradiction. A hint of spirituality, goodness, generosity, show a little of the things or people you love, the causes you care about, etc. These can all add to your seduction. People love contradiction and always want to know more about Stars. But Stars don't tell it all, that's why they're Stars.

5. Vicarious Thrills:
Since most people are bored in their lives, they like to know about people who aren't. People that do exciting things, go strange places, etc. are always intriguing to the public. That doesn't mean that you need to climb Mt. Everest, backpack through the Amazon, get into bar fights, or anything like that. It just means that you need to do those things in life that you want to do anyway. Go skydiving, if you want to. Then, let people know--quietly, methodically, through a third or fourth party--that you did it. They will ask you about it. They always do.


Just a quick note: Everyone has a mask they wear in public, a different mode of behavior. We're all actors. Some are better than others. But all of us are judged on how we portray ourselves, our appearance. No one really knows what others think and feel and, if they're honest, many people really don't care. Think of how many people ask you how you are doing in a day. Do they want the real answer? Usually not.

So perform. Be playful about yourself, Star, maintain an inner distance from life. And remember to remake yourself periodically. It keeps people interested. They grow and change, so must you. You can never be too familiar for too long.

A Danger to be aware of: You are creating an illusion that is pleasurable to others. When they tire of it, or it ceases to be pleasureable, people will turn to someone else. Adjust. Notoriety is not a problem for you, neither are slurs. They are forgivable and may even enhance you presence. But when people become obsessed wtih Stars there is a problem. Remember that this may happen. Prepare for it.

He's just Dandy...

"The seduction emanating from a person of uncertain or dissimulated sex is powerful." -Colette



We've all met at least one Dandy in our lifetime. Today, Male Dandies may be called slightly effeminate, metrosexual. He may spend hours in the bathroom getting ready for a date and be better dressed than anyone in the room, of either sex. But he still has the aura of maleness. One very famous Dandy was Rudolph Valentino.



Valentino was a movie star during the Golden age of hollywood. He mixed delicacy and masculinity, and seemed more attentive to women than other men. He also threw in a hint or two of menace--which drove women crazy. Remember this, because these men are not actually effeminate. They have qualities that seem delicate but remain men. That is the enticement of a Dandy.



Female Dandies tend to take on a few male traits but stay decidedly female. For instance, Lou Andreas-Salome was one. Taking on male traits doesn't mean that she smoke, drank swore, and in general acted completely butch. No, she didn't do any of that. She loved to read, especially about philosphy, religion, and the like. This was unusual in the 1800s; therefore, the men that she spoke with regarding her interests were taken with the contrast of a beautiful, intelligent, and intellectual woman who seemed to flirt with them even as they discussed the most sober intricacies of philosophy.



In short, Lou Andreas Salome confused, excited, and fascinated the men she was with. Rudolph Valentino relaxed, excited, and stimulated the women he was with. If you desire to pursue this route of seduction, read pages 41-52 in Robert Greene's "The Art of Seduction" to get a deeper picture of the story. Dandies go much deeper than a simple artificial mix of physical qualities--they mix emotions, psychological qualitites, and at times gender roles. They are the quintessential enigma. No one but them ever really understands why they mix all the things they do...no one really knows why it's so attractive.



Keys:



1. Never Conform:
Society is drowned in conforming people. The point about You is the you stand out. You are willing to be what you are, mix what you like of both genders, enjoy the best of both worlds. That is you. That is why people notice you. Sure, you will sometimes like things that others do (food, movies, entertainments, etc) but that doesn't mean that you do not stand out. You do not need to be anti everything to stand out. Men who are Dandies may like fashion, but they may also like football and fast cars. He may wear makeup or a corset to help his figure and looks, but he still loves camping and hiking. And the same goes for women: she may hate fashion, but love cars and jewelry. The contradiction is there, but they are still masculine or feminine people.

2. Be striking:
Groups will form around you because you are rare. You seduce both socially and sexually because of it. Therefore, be different in "striking and aesthetic ways, never vulgar." Go ahead and poke fun at trends, be uninterested in what everyone else is doing, go in a new direction that no one else is, etc. People are insecure, they'll wonder about you and what you're doing.

3. Impudence:
You just don't give a damn about what anyone else thingks, thinks is cool, etc. Never try to please other people. That is not for you.

4. Live:
Live for pleasure. You need to enjoy life more than almost anyone else. This is what you live for and like to do, etc. This is also why people love you, and love to be around you. Surround yourself with food, wines, objects, anything to bring pleasure.

The power of being a Dandy lies in ambiguity. You confuse roles, people, etc. This is seductive. Learn to do it well and people will love you.

Don't Make This Mistake...

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Hello again. Today, as part of the lesson, I would like to tell you one of the biggest mistakes you can ever make in a seduction: Saying too much too early.

Don't make this mistake.

As I know that I have mentioned, a bit of mystery is the heart of seduction. Your target should wonder about you. This gives the person something to think about in his/her spare time...the time when you are away, mainting the distance necessary for a good and successful seduction. This is why telling too much about yourself too early is a huge mistake.

Yes, people always say that they want to know everything about you. You are sooo fasinating, sooo interesting, and sooo mysterious--they wonder how your mind works. Don't tell them. If you tell them how your mind works, why you are the person that you are, etc. then you are no longer interesting.

This is not to say that you should not tell people anything about yourself. Most people enjoy talking about themselves, but they will eventually ask you about yourself--if only to know who they are divulging their secrets to. This is why talking about yourself is an art.

A few Keys:

1. Remember that your goal is to entice the other person. That doesn't mean that you only tell things about yourself that you know that they will like. This may make them suspicious--everyone has a flaw, so your victim with delve deep to find yours. They may find out things that you do not want them to know this way.

2. Allow yourself to have a few little quirks, foibles, even a character flaw. This makes you human and a bit more approachable in general. It also makes you lovable. No one really wants someone who is 100% perfect. It's daunting to comepete with. But 100% perfect for them, that is the key. You can have a few quirks, your victim will probably enjoy them. They make you memorable.

3. As a Rule: Say less than necessary. By doing this, you pique the person's interest. They will wonder or ask questions. You do not have to answer all, or (if you are Very good at the game) any, of the questions. Your victims will build your character in their minds and you will not contradict yourself...more than you want to.
****If you need an example of this, watch the movie Spy Game and watch Robert Redford's character. He says so little and people assume so much, and things tend to turn out the way he wants them to. Now, none of you are spies like Redford's character, but the concept is the same in seduction. Tell less, they imagine more, and you are all the more attractive to them.

4. Don't Lie: You do not always have to tell 100% of the truth, in fact many people would prefer that you didn't, but that doesn't mean that you should lie. Lying is a problem in seduction for the same reason that it is a problem in life--the webs get tangled. Eventually, you may have to make something you lied about true. Then what do you do.


Ladies and Gentlemen, always, always, always remember Key #3! As a rule, say less than necessary. If you are ever tempted to lie, don't. Just pick and choose what details you include in a story and the story will be interesting...really.

People are always more interested in what you Don't say than what you Do say. They like to read between the lines and figure you out. Try it and see. Say less, but be noticeable. People will ask you more questions and be more intrigued by you than the person who says so much more. They know what he is thinking. They wonder about you.

Aim well.

The books about "The Rules of Dating"

A friend/reader recently brought to my attention a series of books that I'm loosely grouping into the Rules Books. These books tell the rules of dating, marriage, sex, and so on and so forth. There are some very good ideas nad some very good rules in them. Then, my friend asked me why I don't use them on this blog.

Well, I will use some things from them on this blog, but many of the rules in them are already in the principles I'll be going into soon. Therefore, I'll teach the principles to all of you and let you make up your own personal rules regarding them.

Remember that seduction is made to be a fluid game. You must be able to adapt, improvise, and grow with your chosen targets. They aren't made out of molds. Why should you be? In fact, you shouldn't be. That is a violation of seduction. If everyone is the same, there is absolutely nothing to entice someone TO you instead of someone else.

For myself, I say the following "Rules are made to be broken when needed; principles last forever." I change and adapt to any situation as needed, so I do not have the time to be so encumbered by rules.

Cheers to all.

The Power of the Ideal Lover

The world we live in is full of harsh realitites, but who wants them! None of us really. There are some of us more susceptible to such fantasies than others, however.

Ideal Lovers thrive on broken and repressed dreams, dreams that we don't believe can come true anymore. Those harsh realities have smashed our hope that we could have our dreams. Therefore, a good lover uses that to his/her advantage--reflecting whatever your dream is back to you and making the illusion you need. For instance, most of us have to run back and forth to work, school, sports practice, rehearsals, cook dinner, do laundry, get some sleep, and more--all while trying to look nice for the opposite sex. So we rush from appointment to appointment, just trying to make the day go by twenty minutes faster so that we can get home a little earlier.

What does the Ideal Lover do? While he/she probably has all the same things to do, they never rush through their time with you. They linger as much as possible, acting as though they can never have enough of you.

"A good lover will behave as elegantly at dawn as at any other time." (The Pillow Book of Sei Shonagon) In other words, after spending an enjoyable night together, the Ideal Lover does not hurriedly gather his things and rush off. No. He takes as long as he can, acting as though every movement bringing him closer to leaving you pains him. Then, when he must leave, he spends that extra moment pulling you in for a warm, langorous kiss before taking his leave.

Casanova was the most successful male Ideal Lover, and Madame de Pompadour the most successful female. Why?

Keys:
1. Observe. Observe. Observe:
Your job as the Ideal Lover is to find what people lack, what dreams have been shattered. Therefore, ignore the conscious things that they do and say, and focus on the involuntary things (a blush, a look, etc) and learn what they are not saying.
"Our ideal may be buried in disappointment, but it lurks underneath, waiting to be sparked. If another person seems to have that ideal quality, or to have the ability to bring it out in us, we fall in love....[Ideal Lovers do] not merely seduce their targets into a sexual affair, they make them fall in love." (The Art of Seduction, 36).
Now is the perfect time for the Ideal Lover. First, because we (as people in society) must always seem well-intentioned. Power is taboo. Speaking of Power is more taboo, because there is nothing noble or spiritually elevating about it. And Second, because few people see through the Ideal Lover--and that makes the seduction last longer.

2. Ambiguity:
Combine sensitivity with pleasure, an air of innocence with spiritual and sensibility. Mix high and low qualitites (sensuality with innocence, etc); the combination is enigmatic and seductive.
Remember, people are always vulnerable to insinuation, especially if it strokes their vanity. Hint that you see some untapped potential in them, some wonderful inspiring thing, and they will be yours. You are appealing to a person's "higher self" (their vanity, really). We always want to believe that we are better than we really are.
Politicians do this to an entire nation by pulling symbols from the country's past, bringing former ideals back to the surface. The reality behind the symbols doesn't matter, only the positive feelings that they stir in the people. Those feelings will undoubtedly be transferred to the politician.

Dangers:
1. Reality must be kept away. If it creeps in, then your own faults will burst your victim's bubble and you will bear the force of the explosion.
2.Also, reality and long, intimate exposure dull a person's perfection. Distance is often the solution to this.
3.Lastly, be prudent and keep people from seeing you imperfections as much as possible. Your reputation may or may not survive it.


One final thought, Ideal Lovers always bring out the nobler qualities in their victims, make them seem wonderful and godlike; and for this they are rewarded with great power. Their Victim has come to love them. Love, itself, is a source of power.

Sirens...and the drowning men who love them.

Welcome again, Ladies and Gentlemen. Today, we study The Siren.

Sirens bewitch men. This is a simple fact of life. The Siren exudes an exciting, adventurous, and potently sexual presence that entices the men...and yet, the Siren herself remains ungraspable--unless she chooses to be grasped. She's dazzling, sexy, alluring, and her every movement is a source of pleasure.

This does NOT mean that she is easy. Sirens make themselves pleasurable company to men, but pleasure is not always about sex. And many times, the Sirens themselves do not exactly understand the effect they have on men.

One of the most famous Sirens was Marilyn Monroe. To this day, I have yet to meet a man (homosexual or straight) who does not know who she is and revere her as the sex symbol and goddess that she was. To quote her: "My admirers all said the same thing in different ways. It was my fault, their wanting to kiss me and hug me. Some said it was the way I looked at them--with eyes full of passion. Others said it was my voice that lured them on. Still others said that I gave off vibrations that floored them."

No matter how you do what you do as a Siren, men will be floored. They will be drawn in and drown happily.

Keys:

1. Voice:
Whatever tone you choose (sweet, delightful, langorous, exotic, child-like, suggestive), you simply must learn the art of insinuation. You must hint at eroticism, and do so as subliminally as possible. Never be overtly sexual with this. Much of communication is what your body and tone say, not the words that come out of your mouth. Use your tone to make your point. Also, remember that your voice is there to lull, to mezmerize your victim. NEVER speak too quickly, aggressively, high-pitched, or sound like a man's mother. That isn't your job.

2. Body:
Where your voice needs to lull and mezmerize, your body should captivate. Everything in your appearance must dazzle, be harmonious, with no single thing drawing attention. Everything needs to draw attention TO YOU, not to the item itself. You are a goddess, feel free to look like one. Be a charged, larger-than-life fantasy.
Also, remember that what youcover and what you leave selectively bare can be seductive in itself. Caution: wearing less and less does not make you sexier, it makes you look like a slut. Sensuality has very little to do with what you are or are not wearing. It is how you walk, talk, sit, stand, laugh, carry yourself, wear the clothes that you choose to.
Napolean's wife, Josephine, always left her arms bare. This was more selectively seductive than acres of decolletage to many men.

3. Movement/demeanor:
Make as many of your movements as gracefully and suggestive (i.e. learn to look like you're floating when walking, be graceful, unhurried, etc). Remember, the point is to not be overt with the suggestions. You hint, cajole, stir the victim without being obvious.
You may worry about confusing your victim. Don't. You want your victim confused--that's the point. The mix of innocence and sex are seductive. In general, anything not immediately understood is seductive. Let that seductive dicotomy consume you, and you become seductive as well.

Dangers:
The problem for Sirens generally comes from the same sex. She will always have a reputation--Rome thought Cleopatra a whore. Men are forgiving of the reputation, women envy and that turns them into enemies. The Siren can combat this somewhat by playing up their innocence and making herself seem a victim of male desire.
Also, the attention that Sirens get eventually irritates them. They may want no attention at all, or just a different type. Not all beautiful women are brainless, but some people tend to believe that they are.
Finally, physical beauty fades over the years. The Siren herself must learn to play on more than the physical desires of men--the psychological aspects of seduction are more seductive than sex. Sex is easy. Anyone can get it, even on short notice. So learn to seduce the psyche as well and you'll have more power after.

Anyone can take on a few of the qualities of the Siren, but in many ways you have to be born with it. So, if you aren't one, feel free to play with it a bit--make yourself as attractive as possible. If you are one, it's hard to make yourself unattractive. So the best of luck to everyone.

Anti-seducers: quick notes

Everyone,

Just a quick note today on Anti-seducers. Your goal is, of course, not to be one of these; however, all of us have a few qualities of the anti-seducer.

Greed, stinginess, windbaggery, clingy-ness, all of these are qualities of the anti-seducer. Greed points that nothing--including you--will satisfy the victim. Stinginess points to more than just the pocketbook but a lack of emotion necessary for a satisfying seduction. Windbaggery: being smart is a plus in many cases, but there are people who simply never know when to stop talking. Windbags talk until their audience loses interest, then think that by talking more they will recapture that interest--this is hardly ever the case. Clingy-ness points to a lack of confidence in yourself. Yes you want to be near the other person, need to be to seduce them. But overexposure can be worse than underexposure: with underexposure, the victim doesn't know enough to look your way, in overexposure, they know too much to keep looking.

Remember mystery. Victims, no matter what they say, do not always like open books. There are areas, like finance, where mystery is bad. But, in seduction, mystery is good.

The victim should wonder about you. You are the source of an intriguing game, and the victim doesn't really know what the prize in the middle of the maze is. You give them glimpses, peeks, etc. but only periodically. The less you show, the more they imagine, the faster they are yours for the taking.

Enjoy the game. And see you in the next installment.

My apologies...

Ladies and Gentlemen,

I must apologize for taking so long to blog again. I was very ill during the last few months and hope that the holidays were full of seductive opportunities for all.

I am happy to report that I have found one worth seducing (romantically). We'll call him...Button-Nose. Obviously, this has only a little to do with his appearance. I must say that it is interesting being in the first phases of seduction once again. And when I say first phases, that is just what I mean.

Button-Nose is aware of my existence, but not as a romantic possibility. I must begin to convince him of his need for me, but--as I have so many times told others--he must feel as though it were his own idea. I will take a leaf from The Art of Seduction and approach indirectly. We know many of the same people; it will not take long to show myself as an object of desire (even just as friendly company) among them. From there...we will see.

Stay tuned for updates. There are other possible Victims as well but none quite so very intriguing at the moment.

And tomorrow, I will begin posting my regular updates on Seducers and Victim Types once again.

Until then...happy seducing. Remember, as friend or romantic interests, seduction is always enjoyable.