He's just Dandy...

"The seduction emanating from a person of uncertain or dissimulated sex is powerful." -Colette



We've all met at least one Dandy in our lifetime. Today, Male Dandies may be called slightly effeminate, metrosexual. He may spend hours in the bathroom getting ready for a date and be better dressed than anyone in the room, of either sex. But he still has the aura of maleness. One very famous Dandy was Rudolph Valentino.



Valentino was a movie star during the Golden age of hollywood. He mixed delicacy and masculinity, and seemed more attentive to women than other men. He also threw in a hint or two of menace--which drove women crazy. Remember this, because these men are not actually effeminate. They have qualities that seem delicate but remain men. That is the enticement of a Dandy.



Female Dandies tend to take on a few male traits but stay decidedly female. For instance, Lou Andreas-Salome was one. Taking on male traits doesn't mean that she smoke, drank swore, and in general acted completely butch. No, she didn't do any of that. She loved to read, especially about philosphy, religion, and the like. This was unusual in the 1800s; therefore, the men that she spoke with regarding her interests were taken with the contrast of a beautiful, intelligent, and intellectual woman who seemed to flirt with them even as they discussed the most sober intricacies of philosophy.



In short, Lou Andreas Salome confused, excited, and fascinated the men she was with. Rudolph Valentino relaxed, excited, and stimulated the women he was with. If you desire to pursue this route of seduction, read pages 41-52 in Robert Greene's "The Art of Seduction" to get a deeper picture of the story. Dandies go much deeper than a simple artificial mix of physical qualities--they mix emotions, psychological qualitites, and at times gender roles. They are the quintessential enigma. No one but them ever really understands why they mix all the things they do...no one really knows why it's so attractive.



Keys:



1. Never Conform:
Society is drowned in conforming people. The point about You is the you stand out. You are willing to be what you are, mix what you like of both genders, enjoy the best of both worlds. That is you. That is why people notice you. Sure, you will sometimes like things that others do (food, movies, entertainments, etc) but that doesn't mean that you do not stand out. You do not need to be anti everything to stand out. Men who are Dandies may like fashion, but they may also like football and fast cars. He may wear makeup or a corset to help his figure and looks, but he still loves camping and hiking. And the same goes for women: she may hate fashion, but love cars and jewelry. The contradiction is there, but they are still masculine or feminine people.

2. Be striking:
Groups will form around you because you are rare. You seduce both socially and sexually because of it. Therefore, be different in "striking and aesthetic ways, never vulgar." Go ahead and poke fun at trends, be uninterested in what everyone else is doing, go in a new direction that no one else is, etc. People are insecure, they'll wonder about you and what you're doing.

3. Impudence:
You just don't give a damn about what anyone else thingks, thinks is cool, etc. Never try to please other people. That is not for you.

4. Live:
Live for pleasure. You need to enjoy life more than almost anyone else. This is what you live for and like to do, etc. This is also why people love you, and love to be around you. Surround yourself with food, wines, objects, anything to bring pleasure.

The power of being a Dandy lies in ambiguity. You confuse roles, people, etc. This is seductive. Learn to do it well and people will love you.