The Charmer

Charmers always feel your pain, understand you, etc. You feel better about yourself with them. They aim for your vanity and self-esteem.

"Birds are taken with pipes that imitate their own voices, and men with those sayings taht are most agreeable to their own opinions." -Samuel Butler

This is the essence of Charm. Charmers are agreeable, amenable, bright without being dazzling. They've learned to throw attention from themselves, to fade into the background. How do they do this? If you are a Charmer, develop these skills until they become habit.

1. Your Victim is the center of attention: Everyone likes attention. Let them talk--you will learn more about them, their strengths, their weaknesses, their vulnerabilities. Knowing this, a good Charmer adapts their attack to the individual while still making them feel like a star.

2. Be a source of pleasure: Don't talk about your problems, but listen attentively to your Victim's. Then, change the situation to cheer them, to make them feel happy and good again. Do this and the Victim is yours.

3. Change antagonism to harmony: Like a medieval king's court, the world is full of resentment, envy, jealousy, etc. Charmers know how to smooth conflict--they also stir them up periodically if it is to their benefit, but never stir up anything that is immune to their charm. They don't criticize, but plan ideas or insuate subtly.

4. Lull your victims into ease and comfort: Chermers are hypnotic. They adapt to the Victim's moods, relax them, mirror them with positive actions. They do not pester. The Victim is more susceptible, more responsive when relaxed.

5. Be calm in adversity: No matter the setback, no matter their personal feelings or turmoil, the Charmer will not whine, complain, or justify. They do not get angry, vengeful, or pained. They are relaxed, as though nothing can ruffle them. If you are a Charmer, keep your concerns in. Show poise, self-possesion, and empathy for others. They will love you for it.

6. Make yourself useful: If you can enhance someone else's life, they will become dependent on you. You make their life easier, help them when they have problems, and they will seek you out. NO ONE can resist. But you must follow through. If you do, they adore you. If you do not, you fall short and they love you less. Do this correctly, and you will have all the victims you choose.

"You know what charm is: a way of getting the answer yes without having asked any clear question." -Albert Camus