A Key to a good seduction is to remember this:
Great seducers offer a release for whatever society will not allow.
On some level, all of us feel a little repressed by some aspect of our society. There is something that we want that we aren't allowed to have and we envy the people that have it and those that may not care what society thinks. But we still don't have what we want. That's what makes us seducable.
It's hard to seduce someone who is perfectly happy. Find a person's unhappiness, weakness, insecurity. Melancholy, boredom, inexperience…whatever the cause of the unhappiness, slip yourself into the position to assuage it and that is where you will find your opening.
You want to influence people, have romantic liaisons, or simply become a more likable person: this blog can help. There is an art to successful social interaction, but anyone can learn it. You only have to wish to, learn, and practice. I can teach you.
Saturday, September 27, 2008
The Rake
Bond, James Bond. Why do women want him? Even the women that know who and what he is still want him. Why?
Welcome to the world of the Rake.
Rake’s are smooth, but not too smooth. (Women do like a rough edge or two.) They are alternately calm and collected, passionate and ardent in their desire. Sometimes, he seems to look at only you, to want only you. And, in that moment, he does.
“Intense desire has a distracting power on a woman.” –Robert Greene
1. Rakes let themselves go free, abandon into the moment. They take risks and enjoy them. Women love this—otherwise James Bond would never get as many women as he did.
2. Rakes know that men are drawn visually and women are drawn by words. They use this to their advantage. They choose words that hypnotize, suggest, and impact the Victims—the words are akin to drugging the Victim, distracting them. Many words may even seem un-provocative; this only enhances the one word that is provocative, the one that is different.
3. Rakes have no problems with resistance. If a woman resists, it’s only more satisfying in the end. If there is not resistance, he creates some. It’s more enjoyable.
4. He doesn’t give a single damn what anyone thinks, sometimes in the extreme. His wit may bite, his sarcasm may lay people at his feet, but he stays confident in himself. He enjoys his own company when he doesn’t want another’s and when he does, there is always someone willing.
5. He may be cruel, dangerous even, but it still attracts women. They want to reform him. They get sucked in thinking it’s possible.
6. He has a reputation. Danger, cruelty, adventure, a fetish for loose women—none of this matters. He never makes it less than it is. He did those things that gave him a reputation…and women want him more for it.
Personally, I love a good Rake. But when involved, I remember that this is just as much a game to them as it is to me. It is possible to turn the thrill of adventure into a relationship, but both parties must be ready and willing to do so.
Welcome to the world of the Rake.
Rake’s are smooth, but not too smooth. (Women do like a rough edge or two.) They are alternately calm and collected, passionate and ardent in their desire. Sometimes, he seems to look at only you, to want only you. And, in that moment, he does.
“Intense desire has a distracting power on a woman.” –Robert Greene
1. Rakes let themselves go free, abandon into the moment. They take risks and enjoy them. Women love this—otherwise James Bond would never get as many women as he did.
2. Rakes know that men are drawn visually and women are drawn by words. They use this to their advantage. They choose words that hypnotize, suggest, and impact the Victims—the words are akin to drugging the Victim, distracting them. Many words may even seem un-provocative; this only enhances the one word that is provocative, the one that is different.
3. Rakes have no problems with resistance. If a woman resists, it’s only more satisfying in the end. If there is not resistance, he creates some. It’s more enjoyable.
4. He doesn’t give a single damn what anyone thinks, sometimes in the extreme. His wit may bite, his sarcasm may lay people at his feet, but he stays confident in himself. He enjoys his own company when he doesn’t want another’s and when he does, there is always someone willing.
5. He may be cruel, dangerous even, but it still attracts women. They want to reform him. They get sucked in thinking it’s possible.
6. He has a reputation. Danger, cruelty, adventure, a fetish for loose women—none of this matters. He never makes it less than it is. He did those things that gave him a reputation…and women want him more for it.
Personally, I love a good Rake. But when involved, I remember that this is just as much a game to them as it is to me. It is possible to turn the thrill of adventure into a relationship, but both parties must be ready and willing to do so.
Friday, September 26, 2008
Truth
In speaking to my good friend Madame Artemis, the following quote came up:
“We choose the person who chooses us.” –Artemis
How true this is.
“We choose the person who chooses us.” –Artemis
How true this is.
Burn like Ice...the Coquette
Welcome readers to the Coquette Crash Course. Coquettes are masters of causing the crash, and soothing away the pain to lull the Victim into crashing again.
“Coquettes know how to please; not how to love, which is why men love them.” –Pierre Marivaux
“She who would long to retain her power must use her lover ill.” –Ovid
The more obviously you pursue a person, the more you chase them away. Be subtle, insinuating, even inattentive. The Coquette knows this…and uses it.
Coquettes have the key to bringing their targets to their knees: the calculated step back. Most think that their constant presence helps in seduction. It doesn’t. Victims must be left to imagine you as they want you to be; don’t prove what you are. Coquettes know better. Withdrawing at the point when the Victim has become secure and dependent in your company causes insecurity. Why aren’t you there? Have they done something to send you away? Why don’t you call? Then, the Victim will seek them out.
Keys:
Narcissism: Coquettes tend toward independence and self-sufficiency. They don’t need a man to coddle them because they are fine in themselves. THIS is seductive. Confidence attracts others to you. Low self-esteem, poor self-image repel others from you.
The less you seem to need others, the more you attract others. We bow to the Coquettes on this.
Coquettes excite their Victims. Unspoken promises of Fame, Fortune, sexual magnetism…she has a million tricks. She excites her target, then plays with them.
Obvious flirting reveals your intentions. Insinuation, innuendo, a seemingly unconscious and innocent disruption of the status quo work better. These are the tools of the Coquette.
Keep the Victim off balance. Give them pleasure first, then withdraw and take it away. Don’t become mechanical with this—one week on, one off, two days on, two off. Mix it up. Keep the Victim happy for three days and leave for five. Return for two weeks, leave for three days. Whatever it takes is what you will do. What it takes depends on the target.
Special Notes: Coquettes don’t get jealous, ever. But they do make their targets jealous. They make triangles—social, romantic, political, whatever. And it makes others love them.
No matter your seduction type, learn to create triangles and gain the confidence of a Coquette.
“Coquettes know how to please; not how to love, which is why men love them.” –Pierre Marivaux
“She who would long to retain her power must use her lover ill.” –Ovid
The more obviously you pursue a person, the more you chase them away. Be subtle, insinuating, even inattentive. The Coquette knows this…and uses it.
Coquettes have the key to bringing their targets to their knees: the calculated step back. Most think that their constant presence helps in seduction. It doesn’t. Victims must be left to imagine you as they want you to be; don’t prove what you are. Coquettes know better. Withdrawing at the point when the Victim has become secure and dependent in your company causes insecurity. Why aren’t you there? Have they done something to send you away? Why don’t you call? Then, the Victim will seek them out.
Keys:
Narcissism: Coquettes tend toward independence and self-sufficiency. They don’t need a man to coddle them because they are fine in themselves. THIS is seductive. Confidence attracts others to you. Low self-esteem, poor self-image repel others from you.
The less you seem to need others, the more you attract others. We bow to the Coquettes on this.
Coquettes excite their Victims. Unspoken promises of Fame, Fortune, sexual magnetism…she has a million tricks. She excites her target, then plays with them.
Obvious flirting reveals your intentions. Insinuation, innuendo, a seemingly unconscious and innocent disruption of the status quo work better. These are the tools of the Coquette.
Keep the Victim off balance. Give them pleasure first, then withdraw and take it away. Don’t become mechanical with this—one week on, one off, two days on, two off. Mix it up. Keep the Victim happy for three days and leave for five. Return for two weeks, leave for three days. Whatever it takes is what you will do. What it takes depends on the target.
Special Notes: Coquettes don’t get jealous, ever. But they do make their targets jealous. They make triangles—social, romantic, political, whatever. And it makes others love them.
No matter your seduction type, learn to create triangles and gain the confidence of a Coquette.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
The Charmer
Charmers always feel your pain, understand you, etc. You feel better about yourself with them. They aim for your vanity and self-esteem.
"Birds are taken with pipes that imitate their own voices, and men with those sayings taht are most agreeable to their own opinions." -Samuel Butler
This is the essence of Charm. Charmers are agreeable, amenable, bright without being dazzling. They've learned to throw attention from themselves, to fade into the background. How do they do this? If you are a Charmer, develop these skills until they become habit.
1. Your Victim is the center of attention: Everyone likes attention. Let them talk--you will learn more about them, their strengths, their weaknesses, their vulnerabilities. Knowing this, a good Charmer adapts their attack to the individual while still making them feel like a star.
2. Be a source of pleasure: Don't talk about your problems, but listen attentively to your Victim's. Then, change the situation to cheer them, to make them feel happy and good again. Do this and the Victim is yours.
3. Change antagonism to harmony: Like a medieval king's court, the world is full of resentment, envy, jealousy, etc. Charmers know how to smooth conflict--they also stir them up periodically if it is to their benefit, but never stir up anything that is immune to their charm. They don't criticize, but plan ideas or insuate subtly.
4. Lull your victims into ease and comfort: Chermers are hypnotic. They adapt to the Victim's moods, relax them, mirror them with positive actions. They do not pester. The Victim is more susceptible, more responsive when relaxed.
5. Be calm in adversity: No matter the setback, no matter their personal feelings or turmoil, the Charmer will not whine, complain, or justify. They do not get angry, vengeful, or pained. They are relaxed, as though nothing can ruffle them. If you are a Charmer, keep your concerns in. Show poise, self-possesion, and empathy for others. They will love you for it.
6. Make yourself useful: If you can enhance someone else's life, they will become dependent on you. You make their life easier, help them when they have problems, and they will seek you out. NO ONE can resist. But you must follow through. If you do, they adore you. If you do not, you fall short and they love you less. Do this correctly, and you will have all the victims you choose.
"You know what charm is: a way of getting the answer yes without having asked any clear question." -Albert Camus
"Birds are taken with pipes that imitate their own voices, and men with those sayings taht are most agreeable to their own opinions." -Samuel Butler
This is the essence of Charm. Charmers are agreeable, amenable, bright without being dazzling. They've learned to throw attention from themselves, to fade into the background. How do they do this? If you are a Charmer, develop these skills until they become habit.
1. Your Victim is the center of attention: Everyone likes attention. Let them talk--you will learn more about them, their strengths, their weaknesses, their vulnerabilities. Knowing this, a good Charmer adapts their attack to the individual while still making them feel like a star.
2. Be a source of pleasure: Don't talk about your problems, but listen attentively to your Victim's. Then, change the situation to cheer them, to make them feel happy and good again. Do this and the Victim is yours.
3. Change antagonism to harmony: Like a medieval king's court, the world is full of resentment, envy, jealousy, etc. Charmers know how to smooth conflict--they also stir them up periodically if it is to their benefit, but never stir up anything that is immune to their charm. They don't criticize, but plan ideas or insuate subtly.
4. Lull your victims into ease and comfort: Chermers are hypnotic. They adapt to the Victim's moods, relax them, mirror them with positive actions. They do not pester. The Victim is more susceptible, more responsive when relaxed.
5. Be calm in adversity: No matter the setback, no matter their personal feelings or turmoil, the Charmer will not whine, complain, or justify. They do not get angry, vengeful, or pained. They are relaxed, as though nothing can ruffle them. If you are a Charmer, keep your concerns in. Show poise, self-possesion, and empathy for others. They will love you for it.
6. Make yourself useful: If you can enhance someone else's life, they will become dependent on you. You make their life easier, help them when they have problems, and they will seek you out. NO ONE can resist. But you must follow through. If you do, they adore you. If you do not, you fall short and they love you less. Do this correctly, and you will have all the victims you choose.
"You know what charm is: a way of getting the answer yes without having asked any clear question." -Albert Camus
Beginnings
As I said before, each of us needs to understand what kind of Seducer we are and what kind of Victim we are. For this, I recommend The Art of Seduction.
Seducer Types:
According to Greene (who wrote The Art of Seduction), there are 9 types. I'm researching to see if there may be more. They are:
1. The Siren
2. The Rake
3. The Ideal Lover
4. The Dandy
5. The Natural
6. The Coquette
7. The Charmer
8. The Charismatic
9. The Star
A quick introduction: the Siren (female) exudes sexual energy and embodies the male fantasy; the Rake (male) is the danger edged, attentive female fantasy; the Ideal Lover (both) is the one that reflects their targets fantasy--adventure, romance, anything--and a master of illusion; the Dandy (both) throws expectations of image out the window and does ast hey please with style and flare; the Natural is playful, unpretentious, child-like; the Coquette (both) is a master of stop and go; the Charmer (both) is the master of smoke and mirrors--they make their targets the focus of all the attention and uses this to reel them in; the Charismatic (both) excites us with their presence, they seem extraordinary just by being; the Star (both) is vague, ethereal, and fascinating--we love to watch them and imagine.
I will go over and develop these more one by one later.
Victim Types:
There are 18 victims (Greene).
1. the Reformed Rake/Siren (Need to resume their previous ways, to seduce others)
2. Disappointed Dreamers (Need their romantic dreams to be reality. They've been crushed.)
3. the Pampered Royal (Need distraction, spectacle, new experiences provided for them)
4. the New Prude (concerned with appearances/correctness, they want to rebel and let go)
5. the Crushed Star (once admired, they want the attention they've lost back again)
6. the Novice (curious, they want experience with life but have none)
7. the Conqueror (Need constant challenges, let them be agressive but offer some resistence)
8. the Exotic Fetishest (don't like where they're from, want different things, exotic things)
9. the Drama Queen (need to deflect boredom, they want excitement)
10. the Professor (Need physicality, their minds are overstimulated)
11. the Beauty (Needs to be appreciated for ANYTHING BUT physical appearances)
12. the Aging Baby (Need someone to be responsible for them so they can play)
13. the Rescuer (Need to save people in trouble, to act chivalrous or maternal)
14. the Roue (cynical, jaded and worldly, they long to seduce--especially the innocent)
15. the Idol Worshiper (feel empty inside, they long for something to worship to fill the void)
16. the Sensualist (have overactive senses, use them by seducing with spectacle and sensation)
17. the Floating Gender (undecided what gender to embody, these prefer to play with both and want someone who has the same indecision)
18. the Lonely Leader (used to power, they're deferred to constantly. Act their equal or superior to get them to notice you)
Notes:
Each victim has a longing to fill, a weakness to exploit. BUT remember that the goal here is not to use people, but to enjoy them. Seduction is a game--a very enjoyable and satisfying one for both parties when played correctly.
Also, the game does not have anything to do with sex unless you and your victim decide that it does.
Many of my current friends, I have because I seduced them.
Seducer Types:
According to Greene (who wrote The Art of Seduction), there are 9 types. I'm researching to see if there may be more. They are:
1. The Siren
2. The Rake
3. The Ideal Lover
4. The Dandy
5. The Natural
6. The Coquette
7. The Charmer
8. The Charismatic
9. The Star
A quick introduction: the Siren (female) exudes sexual energy and embodies the male fantasy; the Rake (male) is the danger edged, attentive female fantasy; the Ideal Lover (both) is the one that reflects their targets fantasy--adventure, romance, anything--and a master of illusion; the Dandy (both) throws expectations of image out the window and does ast hey please with style and flare; the Natural is playful, unpretentious, child-like; the Coquette (both) is a master of stop and go; the Charmer (both) is the master of smoke and mirrors--they make their targets the focus of all the attention and uses this to reel them in; the Charismatic (both) excites us with their presence, they seem extraordinary just by being; the Star (both) is vague, ethereal, and fascinating--we love to watch them and imagine.
I will go over and develop these more one by one later.
Victim Types:
There are 18 victims (Greene).
1. the Reformed Rake/Siren (Need to resume their previous ways, to seduce others)
2. Disappointed Dreamers (Need their romantic dreams to be reality. They've been crushed.)
3. the Pampered Royal (Need distraction, spectacle, new experiences provided for them)
4. the New Prude (concerned with appearances/correctness, they want to rebel and let go)
5. the Crushed Star (once admired, they want the attention they've lost back again)
6. the Novice (curious, they want experience with life but have none)
7. the Conqueror (Need constant challenges, let them be agressive but offer some resistence)
8. the Exotic Fetishest (don't like where they're from, want different things, exotic things)
9. the Drama Queen (need to deflect boredom, they want excitement)
10. the Professor (Need physicality, their minds are overstimulated)
11. the Beauty (Needs to be appreciated for ANYTHING BUT physical appearances)
12. the Aging Baby (Need someone to be responsible for them so they can play)
13. the Rescuer (Need to save people in trouble, to act chivalrous or maternal)
14. the Roue (cynical, jaded and worldly, they long to seduce--especially the innocent)
15. the Idol Worshiper (feel empty inside, they long for something to worship to fill the void)
16. the Sensualist (have overactive senses, use them by seducing with spectacle and sensation)
17. the Floating Gender (undecided what gender to embody, these prefer to play with both and want someone who has the same indecision)
18. the Lonely Leader (used to power, they're deferred to constantly. Act their equal or superior to get them to notice you)
Notes:
Each victim has a longing to fill, a weakness to exploit. BUT remember that the goal here is not to use people, but to enjoy them. Seduction is a game--a very enjoyable and satisfying one for both parties when played correctly.
Also, the game does not have anything to do with sex unless you and your victim decide that it does.
Many of my current friends, I have because I seduced them.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Men need to know
Guys,
We (women) always have an idea of what we want. We may even tell you what we want on occassion. If you aren't it, don't get yourself down. It's conceivable that you could change our minds.
We know for sure what we want until we see/find it. Ladies and Gentlemen, if either of you don't believe that statement then go shoe shopping with a woman. Most will browse through the store for 5-10 min before grabbing a shoe and saying "This is what I want!"
Men, there will be days when you can't do anything right. You don't understand why. That's okay. It really doesn't have much to do with you. You just happen to be there. Sorry. We have our days too. We'll get over it.
We (women) always have an idea of what we want. We may even tell you what we want on occassion. If you aren't it, don't get yourself down. It's conceivable that you could change our minds.
We know for sure what we want until we see/find it. Ladies and Gentlemen, if either of you don't believe that statement then go shoe shopping with a woman. Most will browse through the store for 5-10 min before grabbing a shoe and saying "This is what I want!"
Men, there will be days when you can't do anything right. You don't understand why. That's okay. It really doesn't have much to do with you. You just happen to be there. Sorry. We have our days too. We'll get over it.
Women need to know
Ladies:
No matter how perfect you believe that your man is, there is something that you need to understand:
There will be days that he will make you amazingly happy and you'd swear that he's turned the corner and become perfect.
Then, he'll ruin it by doing something stupid and you'd swear he was possessed by Satan. And he won't even know what he did!
Get over your emotions and forgive him when he apologizes. He may not know what he did, but he's smart enough to apologize for it.
No matter how perfect you believe that your man is, there is something that you need to understand:
There will be days that he will make you amazingly happy and you'd swear that he's turned the corner and become perfect.
Then, he'll ruin it by doing something stupid and you'd swear he was possessed by Satan. And he won't even know what he did!
Get over your emotions and forgive him when he apologizes. He may not know what he did, but he's smart enough to apologize for it.
You can always tell a Charmer...
You can always tell a Charmer, no matter how they try to hide.
These are the people that will make you feel like the smartest person in the world if you spend any time with them, but do not annoy while doing so. If they irritate and lie at your feet, that is not Charm--they're a doormat. It doesn't take long to get annoyed with this.
Charmers will simply hold the proverbial mirror up to you so that you can see yourself in the best possible light. They will comment when they can be sincere and it suits them--if they are insincere, you can catch them. Thus, they have learned not to be.
A good friend of mine is a Charmer. I realized this when I began to seek out her company whenever I felt bad about myself. (Yes, even I have insecurities. I'm just better at hiding them than most.) After only ten minutes, I would literally feel amazing. She would seemlessly direct conversation away from whatever I had as an image problem to something I was great at or improving quickly on. And I hardly noticed at first.
Praise to the Charmers. They make you feel good about yourself...and say so little about themselves in the process.
These are the people that will make you feel like the smartest person in the world if you spend any time with them, but do not annoy while doing so. If they irritate and lie at your feet, that is not Charm--they're a doormat. It doesn't take long to get annoyed with this.
Charmers will simply hold the proverbial mirror up to you so that you can see yourself in the best possible light. They will comment when they can be sincere and it suits them--if they are insincere, you can catch them. Thus, they have learned not to be.
A good friend of mine is a Charmer. I realized this when I began to seek out her company whenever I felt bad about myself. (Yes, even I have insecurities. I'm just better at hiding them than most.) After only ten minutes, I would literally feel amazing. She would seemlessly direct conversation away from whatever I had as an image problem to something I was great at or improving quickly on. And I hardly noticed at first.
Praise to the Charmers. They make you feel good about yourself...and say so little about themselves in the process.
Friday, September 19, 2008
Welcome to the Hunt
Some women intrinsically attract men, others have to work at it a little. Don't worry which category you fall into. You can still have the man that you want. If you are very inventive, you can turn the man you have into the man you want, but that is another day.
Ladies, learn first what your seduction style is, what attracts him to you.
1. outgoing, bubbly personality
2. beauty
3. brains
4. the way you seem so mysterious, he never knows what's going on in your head
5. the way you calmly handle any situation, relaxed assurity
6. the way he always feels like the greatest man on earth when he's with you
It doesn't matter what you seduction style is, just who you use it on. When you know how you seduce, you can choose victims that are susceptible to you.
Remember that seduction is not about sex. It's about emotion. You can pay someone to have sex with you, but not to love you.
The goal of seduction is to make them fall in love with you, and keep them there for as long as you want them.
Happy hunting.
Ladies, learn first what your seduction style is, what attracts him to you.
1. outgoing, bubbly personality
2. beauty
3. brains
4. the way you seem so mysterious, he never knows what's going on in your head
5. the way you calmly handle any situation, relaxed assurity
6. the way he always feels like the greatest man on earth when he's with you
It doesn't matter what you seduction style is, just who you use it on. When you know how you seduce, you can choose victims that are susceptible to you.
Remember that seduction is not about sex. It's about emotion. You can pay someone to have sex with you, but not to love you.
The goal of seduction is to make them fall in love with you, and keep them there for as long as you want them.
Happy hunting.